Depth

You might be able to relate to this post if you are one of those people who tell them themselves “Every time I am happy, something bad happens” or “I have given up on hope because it just leads to more pain”.

In essence, if you are what people call a pessimist, you might be able to relate. If you are an optimistic person, maybe not so much. I personally, like to define myself as someone who is a pessimist realist.

Moving on from the little introduction, let’s get to the point.

Hope. Expectations. Wishes. These are things without which people cannot live. With every action that man takes, it is instinctive to hope for the most favourable outcome. Can be something as small as hoping that it doesn’t rain or something major like hoping the meeting that could define your career goes well.

There is always a measure of hope attached to everything man does. And it is natural that where there is hope, there is emotion attached to it. And that is the flaw with it. You cannot have an impassive expectation. Even if you consider that someone has resigned to an expectation of the worst possible outcome, it doesn’t mean that they don’t feel any emotion when said outcome happens. The blow is just significantly lesser.

The problem arises here. When we expect things to go our way. Scrumptiously plan our moves, our endeavours to achieve that one favourable set of proceedings. Now many a times it works out and we are filled with elation, but, more often than not, plans don’t go along smoothly. And that’s when the blows really strike. Where the remorse and anguish over your walls of hope falling down encompass you like darkness and threaten to strangle every feeling out of you. As they say, the bigger the wall, the harder the fall. And from here stems the worst feelings anyone can experience. Depression. Anguish. Frustration. Anger.

I am no stranger to any of these either. I have experienced these in the past and know that I will be confronting these again in the future. You might have too, at some point of time or might be currently going through it. If so, I hope the knowledge that if there is no one who listens or understands how you feel, you will always have a companion in me makes you feel marginally better in the least.

But how does all of this matter if there is no solution for our obvious emotional flaws? I might not be able to give a solution to the entirety of the case but I have found that the mantra “Hope for the best, prepare for the worst” works the best. It might sound very clichéd but this has saved me from much sadness and pain than if I went by anything else. The whole action of preparing for the worst possible outcome makes you build a psychological bunker in case the wall does come tumbling down. It doesn’t mean that you won’t feel anything, just that it will be infinitesimally lesser than what you would feel if you went ahead with no safeguards in place.

To expect is to subject yourself to pain whether it comes or not. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take painkillers in advance.

Raheel Haque 22:46 29.01.2017